Stable Management

Of course, it’s natural to feel empathy for grieving boarders. But showing compassion at their time of loss is not only the moral thing to do, it’s also good business. If boarders feel they have the support of management during this difficult time, they are more likely to get another horse and keep it at the same facility.

“Through the years, I have had several boarders and friends who have lost their horses, and I have lost horses myself,” says Susan Dellinger, owner of Winners Circle Horse Farm in Oakhurst, N.J. “It’s a very emotional time whenever someone loses a pet that they connect with. Horses are so therapeutic in our lives that when one passes, we feel a great loss. Whether it be from old age, illness or injury, it’s never easy.”

As an owner or manager of a boarding facility, you can do a lot to help the grieving owner handle her loss. “Give the grieving owner a hug and tell her it is okay to cry,” says Rebecca Cagle, a professional equestrian life coach and author of the e-book, “Grieving the Loss of Your Horse: How to Survive Your Journey.”

“Send flowers and a sympathy card to show her that you understand her grief is real and you understand that her horse was important to her,” says Cagle. “Avoid telling her she can always get another horse, because it is too soon to think about that and it will cause more pain when her grief is new.”

Cagle recommends giving the owner time to replace the horse when she is ready. “Call to check on her every few days and tell her you care, and support her,” she says. “Take her out to lunch or dinner. Let her bring up the subject of losing her horse. Let her talk as much as she wants and needs to about her loss.”

Dellinger says she is usually present throughout the process of a boarder’s loss to help the owner. This kind of support is invaluable to a grieving boarder.

Mourning

When a horse dies, the entire barn feels the grief. This is especially true of young boarders. “I try to explain to the children what's going on, so they understand,” says Dellinger. “If they have questions, I try to answer them to the best of my ability.”

Facility owners can take a number of steps to help boarders mourn the loss of a friend’s horse. These gestures not only go a long way to ease the grief of other boarders, but will mean a lot to the grieving owner as well.

Placing flowers in the horse’s empty stall is a good way to help show compassion for an owner and regard for the deceased horse. A bouquet of flowers helps ease the pain of seeing an empty stall where a horse once stood, and helps the grieving owner feel like people care about her and her horse.

Another way to help a grieving owner heal is to provide her with another horse to care for until she is ready to buy another one. A lesson horse, or a horse that belongs to another boarder but doesn’t get much attention, is a good choice. If the grieving boarder doesn’t want to ride, ask her to just take the horse out, groom it and take it for a walk around the barn. This small amount of contact with another horse can make a big difference to a boarder who is suffering this kind of loss.