How would you like to become a “people whisperer?” Many of the “horse whisperer” people who seem to have a magic touch or language when dealing with horses can actually teach people a lot…in fact many of them say they train horse owners, not horses.
When training horses, many of the “whisperers” have boiled down what they do to a simple concept: Keep taking away the options of the horse until he chooses the one you want and reward that choice. You don’t have to be violent or angry when the horse (or person) chooses another option, but you do have to be persistent and keep your emotions in check.
That sounds strange, because many people will say you don’t have a choice whether you feel a particular emotion. While that might be true to some degree, you can control the extent of an emotion, and more importantly, how you react. That is how horse whisperers seem to always keep their cool when dealing with naughty horses. What they do is not out of anger or vengeance, but out of controlling their emotional responses.
Realize that your emotional reaction to a physical or emotional situation is often real, but you don’t have to act on it. How you react will help you determine how you feel, and how that situation ultimately turns out.
For example, you have a boarder at your farm who always complains about something every time you see her. If it’s not the untidiness of the tack room it’s the dustiness of the arena. The next time you see her, quickly start the conversation about something that is important to her and positive. “I saw how great your horse looked. You take such good care of him! What do you use on his mane to make it look so great?”
Get the idea? It’s like shifting the horse from one side of its’ brain to the other in order to get him back on track when he “forgets” what he’s supposed to be doing.
Pretty soon, each positive reaction should begin to chip away at the negative personality.
Read books or watch videos from your favorite horse whisperer and see if you can apply what they say to the humans in your life. (Monty Roberts now is using his technique to help leaders and managers.) You might be surprised what you can accomplish with people using the same skills you have learned with horses!